Saturday, July 7, 2012

I am a very bad blogger

I have a hard time coming up with things to write about, at least on a smaller scale. I post my longer opinion pieces to Witchvox and their bit on copyright is a bit hazy (at least to me) so I'm not quite sure if I'm allowed to post articles I've put up there on here. I keep telling Barnabus he's free to write, but he's delved into the depths of Civilization 5 and only comes up for air when I'm up and home. Then, it's pretty much mutual-entertainment time. We only have one computer and it's our main source of media entertainment (you tend to need high-definition/widescreen when watching contemporary sub-titled anime) as our 20 year old Zenith just doesn't cut it for most viewing and what would be ok to watch on it...it's just easier to keep the set-up as is and not f-ck with it based on age of the show we're watching.

In other news, my apartment is actually clean! This is a fairly recent phenomenon. Barnabus and I are notoriously lazy when it comes to this. The goal is to keep it up so that we never have to spend an entire week scrubbing again. Usually we spend an entire week every 6 months or so and then we SWEAR we'll never do it again. Maybe this time we'll keep our words. I'm hopeful, because this means I can have people over and have an empty table top suitable for the rolling of the dice.

There is something I've noticed about myself and it makes me sometimes unfair to other Pagans. I pretty much live, breathe, eat, drink and sleep my Craft. I pretty much only read books on Witchcraft, history, folklore, mythology, ancient religions, etc (even my chosen fiction has a Pagan or Witchy flavor). Most of my "fun money" goes into my Craft, whether acquiring more books, tools (or the raw materials to make my own). My computer time is spent writing/researching articles for Witchvox. My goal in life is to own and run my own Pagan shop (other than trying to set up shop as a "psychic" it's the closest I can get to being a "Professional Witch" in this day and age). And about a third of the conversations Barnabus and I have are about Pagan/Witchy subjects (I would not do well if trying to have a relationship with someone not of my path). In many ways, I'm a one-trick pony. But I can also be as stubborn as a donkey. By that, I mean that I sometimes don't "get" other Witches that aren't as gun-ho Witchy as I am. I don't understand why someone would prefer to spend their time (and money) playing video games or going on long car trips to be in the SCA (or other re-enacting/role-playing events), on top of having a job (and watching tv) and yet still claim they're spiritually fulfilled. I almost do nothing socially after work (a bi-weekly or so role-playing game may be starting, but we've been here a year and none have started/we haven't been invited to join any current games yet, so I'm a bit skeptical that it will happen) and with trying to keep up the house, trying to get into an effective exercise routine, and trying to keep up with all the shows I love...I don't feel I do enough and often feel spiritually cut off because I can't do what I want and make Witchcraft my job. What I need to learn is that everyone has differing levels of need. Not everyone drawn to any form of the Craft or Paganism needs to make it the most important part of their lives. I still feel, though, that if you're going to study and practice a religion (especially one as demanding as Witchcraft) you need to be devoted to it and therefore you may need to let some parts of your life fall by the wayside. If that means cutting back tv time to two hours a day (rather than 4-6..I'm talking to myself here, by the way), do it. Obviously, I'm not in a position to not work and I don't suppose any of us really are, so scaling back there is not really an option. What you can do is stop checking FaceBook 50 times a day (damn you George Takei and your fabulous statuses), cut back on social time (if you actually have a social life...because I really don't) if need be and use that time for your path (whether to study, do devotionals, meditate, actually DO rituals...I tend to be lazy about this but Sabbat nights inevitably fall on work nights and I just don't have it in me after working all day and I tend to be forgetful come the weekend...yet another reason I want to be a professional Witch) .Ok, where was I? Oh yeah, about not judging people who call themselves Witches but whose life doesn't appear to revolve around Witchcraft. I need to stop doing that, I don't know what they do at home. They may have much more energy than I do and could do it all in a way that I cannot. Just because I'm kind of obsessive about Witchcraft does not mean all other Witches need to be.

See? I did it! A real blog entry! Kind of meanders all over the place, but it's a start (again).

May you be blessed by whichever gods you fancy,

BellaDonna Saberhagen

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